Freedom of expression.

 I know sometimes I exuberate a certain level of confidence on the internet, but being introverted and often quite the shrinking violet at times, I am often reminded of the lack of confidence I have to be extrovert. If confidence wasn't an issue for me, I'd be more outstanding. It's a strange thing how my doubts often control me and the way others might perceive me. I think it's what keeps me safe, but also what prevents me from exploring the side of me that enjoys the Bold, more colourful, side of things. Sometimes the parts I keep locked away in my closet yearn to come out, but I am shy and don't want to draw attention to myself, which is ironic giving my online presence begging people to come out and play and get involved in changing things. I look at the way people are bold and full of confidence whilst I hide myself.    I know, there's a lot of things about pride, but I've never been open. I have a more effeminate side that I suppress, because I know it's not comfortable expressing that side of me. It was easier when I was younger just to let go and rebel against culture I perceived as stifling, but as I get older I worry it will be seen as unseemly. Often age is seen as a level of conformity that doesn't branch out past the prescribed stereotype of maturity that encourages you to be plain and fit in a proscribed tick box. At the end of the day we want to be more outlandish but we also want to be comfortable and minimise the stress. I want to not conform, but also have a little bit of security. At some point though, you have to question whether that security is detrimental to your freedom of expression.